Unleashing The Grotesque: The Inspiring Story Behind LIMITS, A Solo Performance Tackling Body Image and Disability

Join us as we learn about the inspiration behind LIMITS and the journey to bring it to the stage.

 

Can you give us a brief overview of LIMITS and what inspired it?

LIMITS is a solo work created and performed by me. It shares the story of a Grotesque Creature navigating the world through a stereotypically “hot-body”. As The Creature tries to live up to the world’s expectations, she is sabotaged by insecurity, self-hate and her own limitations.

There were a couple of things that pushed me to make LIMITS. I normally work with a group of dancers (Bonnie Curtis Projects), choreographing, not really performing in the works. Wearing the hat choreographer and performer is challenging for me. I need a group of people to bounce ideas off.

A couple of years ago, a person I knew of a similar age, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It got me thinking about how short life is and what I’d regret at the end of my life. In fact, I’d regret the things I didn’t do more than the things I did. For instance, not doing things out of fear of judgement from other people, like dancing my truth alone on a stage. I decided to make a solo work about my experiences as a woman and dancer living with invisible disability. It started with research on how women relate to their bodies.

The questions I had were about how a woman with disability relates to their body. This started to form into this idea of a Grotesque Creature. In our society, there’s nothing more grotesque than a woman who doesn’t fit into the stereotype of femininity, like a woman with disability.

In making the work, I watched a lot of TV. I studied Stanley Kubrick and Alfred Hitchcock’s approaches to film-making. What stood out to me, and influenced LIMITS, was Kubrick’s use of sound to create tension, the framing of shots and pacing of scenes. In addition, Hitchcock’s use of visual elements to tell the story rather than dialogue. As a choreographer, visual storytelling is the bedrock of dance. In LIMITS, dialogue is there to enhance the visual story the audience is experiencing.

How did you approach choreographing LIMITS?

Firstly, I spent a lot of time moving around in the studio and filming it. Following this, I’d watch the videos and find movements and ways of moving that I seemed to repeat, and use them as the base for developing movement. I worked with mentor Kay Armstrong, who helped me trust my choreographic voice and choices. She challenged me to approach the movement differently. An example of this would be a phrase I made that was quite balletic. Kay encouraged me to find what that looked like if I tried to hide the fact it was balletic. I started to think “how would this Grotesque Creature, with no comprehension of what her body feels like, do this series of ballet jumps?”.

The movement language of LIMITS is quite physical. To help me find this quality, I developed a method to awaken the grotesque body. It incorporates elements of Gaga, ballet, shaking, Le Cocoq, Butoh, and somatic movement practices.

Can you talk about any challenges you faced while creating LIMITS, and how you overcame them?

Like all artists, the biggest challenge I faced was my own self-doubt. I was fortunate to have a supportive and encouraging team of people helping me make the work. My biggest challenge in bringing the work to New Zealand is finding the right type of dressing table in Wellington. The one I used for the show in Sydney doesn’t fit in my suitcase, unfortunately.

How did you collaborate with other artists, such as musicians or set designers, to bring LIMITS to life?

Although the work is a solo, it is a group creation. I worked with a team of artists who were instrumental in the work being what it is. I worked with the incredible Kay Armstrong, who mentored me to bring the Grotesque Creature to life. She helped me find new ways of making things ridiculous and funny. I also worked with sound designer Fiona (Fi) Lloyd Harding and dramaturg Nell Ranney. They helped me flesh out ideas and key things underpinning the work.

Fi created the evocative sound design that creates the world the Grotesque Creature inhabits. Lighting designer Lucia Haddad helped create a soft, feminine and delicate counterpoint to the dark, depressing world the Creature inhabits. Without their ideas, thoughtfulness and support, I might have given up on making the work.

I wore the hat of set and costume designer. The main item is the dressing table. It serves much more purpose than being a piece of furniture on stage. It’s my dance partner, my love affair. A cast of Barbies play the multi-faceted role of supporting actors, unwilling participants and objects of desire. These Barbies are the remaining few from my extensive childhood collection.

Can you discuss any unique elements or techniques you incorporated into the work, and why you chose to do so?

My background and training is dance and dance says things words cannot. I believe a multi-faceted approach to story-telling is the best way to engage with audiences. I use dance, theatre, comedy and performance art to tell the Grotesque Creature’s story. Some things need the physicality of the moving body to express the intention. Some things need the garbled sounds from a creature who feels like nobody can understand them.

One day I heard an interview of Dan Daw on the Delving into Dance podcast. Dan is a performance maker with disability. He spoke about “crip-time” and things in his daily life, such as getting dressed, taking time. He also talks about how he used duration in his approach to performance-making. Having seen Dan in a showing with Murmuration Dance Theatre, I knew the power of pushing beyond the comfortable duration. For me, I live my life constantly in fast-forward. Things can’t ever happen quickly enough for me. I find it so frustrating, I’m always in a rush. So I challenged myself to take my time, and enjoy the sustained focus of staying in the moment. NGL, it was pretty hard.

I also draw inspiration from joyful memories from my childhood, playing dress up and with Barbie dolls. These moments are less innocent and more symbolic of the depressing reality that women are decorative objects in a society that treats them as such.

I’m really excited to bring LIMITS to the 2023 NZ Fringe Festival in February. Having the opportunity to share this disability-centred work with the people of Wellington means the world to me. I hope Wellington audiences come away with something that challenges them about disability and gender stereotypes. I also hope they laugh, at least a little.